Relational Genius begins with understanding ourselves and the way we interact with ourselves and those around us. It’s a process that never stops, but it is the key ingredient for ongoing peak performance.

When we understand our own thoughts and reactions, we increase power over our behavior. We also have a better ability to explain ourselves to others, which decreases the number of relational fails that occur from miscommunication and misunderstanding of intentions.

 Below are some questions to help you reflect on who you are now and how it influences your behavior. As your life unfolds, you will continuously answer these questions. You, your goals, and your circumstances may all change, such that the ongoing reflection helps to ensure that we are growing and moving in the direction we want.

Self-assessment Questions:
  1. “What are the shadow sides of my strengths?’
  2. “What areas of life am I neglecting?”
  3. How does my current strategy play out for my 5 year and 10 year goals?”
  4. “Am I open to doing things differently, or am I hanging on to old habits?”
  5. “Can I let go of the behaviors that ultimately detract from my long-term peak performance?”

Self-knowledge requires ongoing scanning of our behavior, our emotions, our goals, and our priorities. It requires us to zoom in and out of focus. We need laser, close-up focus for the task at hand.  Stepping back allows us to gain perspective and assess how our actions fit into the big picture. Peak performance requires that we recalibrate our energy and emotions on a daily basis to reduce drag so that we can act out our intentions.

Take a moment to pause and assess yourself, your relationships, and your performance as they relate to your personal priorities, your career, your health, your relationships and your spirituality.

Are there places where you assume that you are right and continue in default mode? Have you fallen victim to saying “I’m a _______(e.g., workaholic, perfectionist, overly responsible, too caring) and that’s just who I am?” These permanent definitions of self keep you acting in the same behavioral patterns and automatically put a ceiling on your success. On the other hand, a balanced self-assessment can help you develop a malleable sense of yourself in time.

Finally, remember that it is easy to pay attention to flaws or weak points. Attend to your strengths as well. They are equally important to ongoing peak performance.