“Can you still kill snakes?” I asked him.

My client was transitioning from a difficult, lucrative, and “secure” career to building his own business. We had assessed his skill sets, emotional fortitude, and possible trajectories for the path forward. We are both well-versed in identifying and mitigating risk, but the “F” word still comes up.

Fear. We prefer the relative comfort and ego maintenance of using more intellectual phrases like “weird thoughts,” “phantom concerns,” or “a slight bit of discomfort.”

I hate fear. It grabs me at the back of my throat and sometimes snatches my breath away. It is the only emotion that manages to whisper and shout at the same time. Fear is sneaky…it hits when we least expect it, and then it hides when we try to confront it. 

My client told me that his mother often said, ‘Lee, you know I love you, but you go after everything like you are killing snakes.” Hard-driving, laser-focused, over-analytical obsession and ferocious determination… snake-killing attributes are assets when we need to move the needle on a problem.

And so, after I noticed the F-word leaking through the gaps in his email, I responded with one question.

 “Can you still kill snakes?” 

You see, people don’t usually wander into success. They are not a “victim” of circumstance. Of course, there may be good fortune involved, but snake killing is ultimately the skill that will ensure Lee’s continued success, not one decision, or business, or role.

Recently, I’ve noticed that we fuel fear when we forget the sources of our success. We use a certain set of skills to get to the next level, then we put our security in the result and forget that we can use the same skill set to get another one. We build a successful business, then we put our peace of mind in the market and forget how we captured it in the first place. 

Fear tells us that our security is based on the situation. It is easy for us to place our confidence in our circumstances and forget the talent, effort, and skills we used to create them in the first place. The personal and professional strengths that created our past opportunities are precisely what give us a controlling interest in long-term outcomes.

If you are doing anything of value and you have an iota of self-preservation, you will feel fear. Fear is not a fact; fear is not a prediction. It is simply the emotion we experience when we move from what appears to be a guaranteed outcome to the wide-open space of uncertainty. Remember to focus on the path you’ve taken to get this far. If you forget that, you will put your faith in shaky situational variables instead of the steadier and more dependable attributes that lie within you.  

• Think back to one of the most challenging professional experiences you’ve had, even if the current one is worse than you’ve ever encountered. How did you get through it? 

• What is the one talent or characteristic of your identity that has always carried you forward? How can you capitalize on that?

• What are past situations, personal or professional, that are similar to the challenges you face today? How did you get through them? What did you learn? What can you apply?

• If you were giving advice to someone else who is tired and has the F word crawling at her throat, what would you say to help her be courageous?

• Remember that fear is not a fact. By itself, it does not signal that something is actually wrong. Sometimes it may indicate that you are doing something right.

Dr. Tricia Groff is an executive coach, psychologist, confidante, and strategic partner, and author of Relational Genius. She works with high-achieving executives on intersecting systems of personal, business, and emerging change. drtriciagroff.com