Stress and Resilience
High Achievers Personality Characteristics that Increase Stress
For most High Achievers, their brain never stops. They are focused on building, problem-solving, and growing. Because of their drive, they rarely pause for long periods after an achievement. Thus, the stress continues, just at higher levels and with greater complexity.
In addition to the growth orientation that produces stress, High Achievers have several personality characteristics, as noted on the High Achiever page, that exacerbate stress. For example, having high expectations of oneself and taking responsibility automatically means carrying a greater burden than might occur in those with a more laissez-faire approach to life.
Below is a list of specific ways a high achieving personality can increase stress.
♦ High Achievers can do many things and tend to think “If I can do it, I should.”
♦ High Achievers hate disappointing others, making it difficult to say “No.”
♦ High Achievers often intellectualize emotions which makes them unaware of their stress levels.
♦ High Achievers’ focus on achievement means that goals come first; Self-care is optional.
♦ High Achievers have difficulty asking for help. Thus, they lose time by problem-solving alone.
♦ High Achievers perceive weaknesses as failure, and may spend excessive time compensating for them.
♦ High Achievers are responsible “to a fault.” Thus, they experience excessive stress or guilt if things go wrong, and often take on responsibility for items outside their jurisdiction or control.
♦ High Achievers believe that emotional energy should be infinite.
Remember that it is better to prevent stress and proactively build resilience. When High Achievers use this front-end approach, they are better equipped to handle the big hurdles that come their way.
Stress Symptoms - The Body Tells the Story
- Irritability
- “Short-fuse”
- Difficulty Relaxing
- Sleep Disruption
- Distractibility
- Short-term Memory Loss
- Stomach Pain
- Stomach Fat
- Burning Feet or Tongue
- Extreme Fatigue
- Chest Pains
- Visual Errors
- Noise Intolerance
- Derealization
- Depersonalization
Key Concepts to Proactively Manage Stress and Build Resilience:
Protecting the Goose | Building Buffer | Creating a Multi-faceted Identity
Protecting the Goose
The Goose Who Laid Golden Eggs
There was once a Countryman who possessed the most wonderful Goose you can imagine, for every day when he visited the nest, the Goose had laid a beautiful, glittering, golden egg.
The Countryman took the eggs to market and soon began to get rich. But it was not long before he grew impatient with the Goose because she gave him only a single golden egg a day. He was not getting rich fast enough.
Then one day, after he had finished counting his money, the idea came to him that he could get all the golden eggs at once by killing the Goose and cutting it open. But when the deed was done, not a single golden egg did he find, and his precious Goose was dead.
Application to Peak Performance
In Stephen Covey’s, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” Mr. Covey suggests that we are the asset, the goose, and so we have production capability. Our production is the golden eggs.
The number one mistake I see in my high achieving clients is the lack of seeing and treating themselves as an asset. In financial terms, an asset produces money. The health of the asset becomes a number one priority for anyone who wants to reap financial gain over the long-term. Short-term focus can destroy the viability of an asset. If you spend the $1 that was supposed to grow $100, you have just killed the goose.
High achievers have a great capacity to produce wonderful personal and financial outcomes. They may be excellent at developing their colleagues, encouraging their families, implementing lucrative business strategies, or bringing high value to their companies. Yet, they do not see themselves as the goose.
When you do not see yourself as the goose (asset), you tend to take your production capacity for granted. You may function by “burning the candle at both ends” for years without seeing a noticeable shift in your production capability. Like the farmer, you assume that somehow the goose will continue to produce golden eggs.
Like the goose, we are bound by physical laws of nature. Specifically, our production is limited by our physical health, our energy, and our emotional stability. I have repeatedly watched people ignore the finite boundaries of all of these categories and expect the goose will somehow keep producing. It is an area of concern for high achieving personalities who have difficulty giving themselves the breaks and the balance their body needs.
When people ignore the boundaries of energy, they compromise the asset both physically and emotionally. Physically, the cost to the asset includes a compromised musculoskeletal strength and decreased cardiovascular fitness. Exacerbated body pains (i.e. backaches) and chronic pain conditions (i.e. fibromyalgia) decreases the quality and quantity of performance. Emotionally, the cost to the asset includes increased anxiety symptoms (headaches, digestive issues or sleep disruption) and low grade depression, which reduces motivation and energy. High stress can lead to all of the above symptoms as well as compromised adrenals and increased cortisol levels (which increases stomach fat). The breakdown to the goose is gradual, and thus often ignored until the symptoms are bad.
Like other areas of peak performance, delayed gratification is necessary. Practice sacrificing the short-term comfort of “plowing through” for the long term payoff of continued optimal functioning.
Regrettably, just like the goose, you are a mortal being. There is an endpoint at which you can no longer produce golden eggs. However, if you work to nourish the goose, you optimize your capacity to produce over the long term.
Buffer
High achievers frequently assume that energy is limitless and that they can continue to max themselves out without consequences. “I’ll catch up on rest later.” This assumption can be reinforced by years of using one’s intellectual prowess to make everything work out. What is unseen is the accumulated physical toll of this strategy. The common physical symptoms in high achievers include digestive issues, increased stomach fat (resulting from increased cortisol), and muscular aches. High achievers tend to intellectualize emotions, and their bodies pay the price. Because of the tendency toward rationalizing and trying to work through difficulties at a cognitive level, high achievers often under-estimate the degree to which an issue may upset them.
Strategies to Increase Buffer
1. Accept that emotional energy is finite. The rest of the steps won’t matter until you have accomplished this. EVERYONE’S emotional energy is finite. I don’t care how intelligent or fabulous you are…it’s like gravity, denying it can result in some broken limbs.
2. Start small. Begin by protecting small chunks of time. Instead of giving up on exercise if you are late to your planned 1-hour workout, squeeze in 20 minutes.
3. Start paying attention to what decreases your emotional energy and what fuels it. It is especially helpful to know what drains and refuels your energy the most quickly. This strategy helps to maintain buffer and also helps to optimize resilience after stress.
4. What do you REALLY want to say “Yes” to? It is easier to tolerate the discomfort of saying “no” when we have a “why” solidly in place.
5. Figure out the specific warning signs that alert you when you are close to red-lining. I have clients who become tired or notice that they are not excited about anything. Other clients get headaches or find themselves more easily frustrated or irritable.
6. Take action BEFORE you bottom out. Many people spend a lot of time and financial resources trying to figure out physical symptoms that manifest after extended stress. Keeping enough buffer helps to prevent the health symptoms in the first place.
Multi-Faceted Identity for a Strong Table of Resilience
Resilience is the capacity to become strong, healthy and successful after high stress. It affects how well one is able to function during stress and how quickly one will recover when the stressor is removed. Building a multi-faceted identity promotes resilience.
A multi-faced identity occurs when a person’s view of themselves comes from several sources. Imagine a table that is strongly supported by multiple legs instead of only one. A person may have a work identity, a sports identity, a family identity. They perceive themselves and are perceived by others slightly differently as they express these different facets in their daily lives. Rather than creating chaos, these different facets help us feel strong. Yes, sometimes we feel torn in multiple directions; however, if work is going poorly, we can feel good about our family. If everything in the week has gone wrong, we obtain comfort in the fact that we ran an extra mile that morning.
Have you met anyone whose sense of purpose was completely wrapped around only one dimension of life? What happens if a professional ball player has no identity except the game and develops an injury that requires premature retirement? What happens when a businessperson invests her heart and soul ONLY into a business and the business is irretrievably lost through tragedy or litigation? By contrast, if she has several nonwork relationships and feels good about her fitness, she knows that at least there are two areas of her life that are still intact. This is the difference between super-stressed but still standing…. and SPLAT.
Developing and maintaining multiple legs of our table is a proactive skill so that we can maintain optimal wellness and performance in times of crises. Because it is proactive, rather than reactive, understand that many other things will seem to take priority. There are many tasks that are easier and afford more instant gratification than trying to build new friendships outside the ready-made Petri dishes of college and work environments. Yet, numerous research studies show that close friendships buffer us against stress and increase longevity. As with many important disciplines, it is difficult to fully realize the full return on our investment until a stressor hits, and we think “thank God, I still have _____.”
Developing Your Table Legs
Emotional. Do you feed yourself positive information on a regular basis or is all of your information from the news or work journals? Do you take time to acknowledge that you’ve made an impact, helped a friend, or offered value to others? Are you tuned in to your emotional needs or do you try to shove them aside? Building your emotional intelligence and nourishing a positive perspective will help you to prevent stress and to bounce back after difficulty.
Vocational. Do you obtain a sense of satisfaction and purpose in your career? Do you feel a connection to what you are doing or to your colleagues? If you are just “putting in time” or dealing with Sunday dread on a regular basis, it may be time to explore other options. Vocational stress is the opposite of building resilience. It tends to make people doubt themselves and their place in life.
Spiritual. If you are part of an organized religion, spend the time finding the organization that feels wonderful to you. If you are spiritual but not religious OR just feel not spiritual at all, focus on what gives you meaning in life. Make gratitude lists or journal. The research on spirituality shows that regardless of one’s specific belief, people who have a spiritual connection fare better during times of high stress.
Social. If all of your social relationships are from only one or two settings (i.e. work or church), seek to expand your circle. The research on longevity shows that social relationships increase longevity. Join special interest groups, volunteer organizations or find neighbors with similar interests. Anticipate and plan for time and effort on the front end until you are able to find a cluster of healthy, happy people to form your support system.
Physical. Find something you like to do that keeps you physically active. If you get bored easily, just make a commitment to change things up every several months or pick a few activities and vary your routine each week. Figure out what is helpful motivation. If you dread sweating and getting out of breath, hang in there. Building or re-building a base level of fitness is always the most difficult part.
Play. Is having fun part of your daily life? Do you have the skill of making tedious things fun? If not, develop it. Play is one of those qualities we accept in children and dismiss as important for adults. People generally don’t compliment each other on their success at integrating joy into their daily lives. Play bolsters our immune system and helps us rebound after difficult times.
Related Articles
Related Services
Stress is an ongoing topic in Whole Person Executive Coaching. As High Achievers continue to expand their influence, they open themselves up to new variables, which increases stress. Thus, stress is inherent in success, but we seek to minimize the downside.
Stress is a common concern and often leads to burnout. It may be helpful for your team to learn some ways of thinking and dealing with it that are different from the broad recommendations of typical self-help. The Stress and Resilience Workshop provides specific and multi-faceted tactics that meet the needs of different personalities within a team.